What if the other person won’t come to mediation?
This is one of the most common questions I hear, and it comes with a particular kind of frustration attached to it. You are ready to do something constructive. You have found a practitioner, looked at the process, maybe even done the research on what your options are. Then the other person says no or does not respond at all. Here is what you need to know.
You cannot force someone to attend mediation
Family dispute resolution is a voluntary process. Neither party can be compelled to participate, and I cannot convene a joint session without both parties' agreement to engage. That is part of what makes it work when it does work: the outcomes are reached by people who have chosen to try.
What this means practically is that if the other party declines to attend, or fails to respond to invitations, the joint session cannot proceed. But that is not the end of the process, and it is not the end of your options.
What happens when the other party won't engage
At Resolve Well, the intake process involves me making reasonable attempts to contact and engage both parties. If the other party declines to participate, does not respond, or withdraws after initially agreeing, I document what has occurred and issue a Section 60I certificate accordingly (if appropriate and required). The specific certificate issued depends on what actually happened.
That certificate is what you need to make a parenting application to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. The other party's refusal to engage does not prevent you from accessing the court. It is recorded in the certificate, and the court is able to take that conduct into account.
What the court may make of it
The Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) requires most parents to make a genuine attempt at family dispute resolution before applying for parenting orders. If one party refuses to engage with that process at all, the certificate reflects it. Courts do not look favourably on a party who has avoided every reasonable attempt at resolution before resorting to litigation.
This does not guarantee any particular outcome. Family law costs orders remain relatively uncommon. But a person's conduct in the lead-up to court proceedings, including whether they made any genuine effort to resolve things cooperatively, is part of the picture a judicial officer sees.
Sometimes the timing is the issue
Not every refusal is a permanent one. People say no to mediation for a range of reasons: they feel defensive, they have been advised by someone to hold off, they do not understand what the process actually involves, or they are not yet emotionally ready to sit down and negotiate.
In some cases, a clear and professional invitation, explaining what the process involves and what it is not, can shift that response. The way mediation is framed to the other party matters. An invitation that reads as an accusation or a power move is unlikely to produce a different answer. One that explains the process clearly, the cost, the format, the confidentiality, and what happens if they decline, often does.
If you are trying to encourage the other party to engage and not getting far, I am happy to talk through what might be getting in the way and whether there is a different approach worth trying.
What you can do right now
If the other party is refusing to engage, the most useful things you can do are;
get independent legal advice so you understand your options and your legal position;
booking an intake call; and
make sure you are genuinely ready to engage in good faith if they do agree.
The Section 60I certificate you receive at the end of the process, whether mediation proceeded or not, is what opens the door to the court if you need it. That document is the outcome of a professional process. It carries weight because of that.
If you are navigating a situation where the other party is not cooperating and you are trying to work out your next step, I would like to help you think it through.